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The Revenge of the Piranha OR The Chicken Has the Last Laugh December 9, 2009

Posted by Laura in Farm.

This past weekend, we finished up the last of the Cornish X (meatbird) chickens.  They are unpleasant birds to raise and we have to remind ourselves frequently that it is a short-term, high-return venture.  (For the uninitiated, these are hybrids that have an incredible [unnatural?!] rate of gain.  For every 2 pounds of feed they ingest, they gain a pound.  They are eating machines.  For this reason, we have nicknamed them The Piranhas because I’m pretty certain if I fell into the move-able coops, they would reduce me to bones in a matter of minutes.  They are humanly engineered, poorly feathered, obese-looking, and prone to heart attacks and broken bones.  We go back and forth about whether we should raise such creatures, but in the end, time constraints and economics have won out so far).

With a sigh of relief, Joe processed the last ones and I readied them for the deep freeze.  After the recommended 2-3 days in brine, I packed them up and headed down to the tool shed freezer to store them away.  (Some birds get cooked & pressure canned for ready-to-eat use and some get frozen for roasting later.  Spent layers become canned soup).  I opened the freezer and set down my heavy load on the floor.  Just as I bent to retrieve the first one for shelving in the freezer, a large one from the top shelf slid off (and reached terminal velocity) and whacked me on the back of the head.  (The parenthetical part added by Joe after viewing the lump on my head).  I think I said some negative things about that chicken and gravity at that point, but no one was there to hear it fortunately.  I’ll repent of it later after the swelling goes down.