In previous posts, I’ve explained some of our reasons for homeschooling our children.  One of the main ones is that we feel we can provide a better education for them one-on-one than they can get in a 30-1 public school classroom.  Our goal has not been to just replicate the curriculum at home either.  We’ve always striven to go beyond that in terms of both depth and breadth. 

There are many homeschooling curriculum companies out there, all striving to provide the best materials available.  We have looked at and adopted some of those texts, but still find them missing some important elements or find they don’t address our preferred learning styles.  This has left us in a bit of a quandary.  How do we make sure that we cover all the skills and content we need to be well educated?  I have a good foundation in education, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t overlook anything.  Beyond that, I had done all my classroom teaching at the middle school level.

The county school board was of no help at all.  A few weeks into Benjamin’s first grade year, we decided to withdraw him and homeschool.  When I asked the county office for a listing of content and skills at each grade level to refer to, they stared at me blankly.  I explained why I wanted them and the reply I got was, “Well, just go get one of those everything-for-first-grade workbooks at the dollar store.”  I was dumbfounded. 

I’ve since found listings on the state education site that gave me a little more help, but they aren’t very user-friendly.  There are lots of very long vague statements in education-ese.   I was looking for something a bit more straight-forward.  I found that in these two books.

The Educated Child by Bennett, Finn, and Cribb was not written with homeschooling in mind at all.  It was actually intended for parents that wanted to evaluate the public education their children were getting.  It is a rather thick book, but well worth reading.  It covers a good bit of the theory and reasoning behind the education children should be getting as well as outlining the topics and skills that should be covered grade by grade.  The authors advocate tackling far more weighty topics (in social studies especially) than I have ever seen in practice.  I would honestly be surprised if there are more than a handful of schools that would pass their evaluation. 

Home Learning Year by Year:  How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool Through High School by Rebecca Rupp has has also been very valuable.  The author writes from years of experience and also advocates a much more rigorous plan of skills and topics than public school books tackle. 

Both of these books have kept us at the library a lot, but we are really enjoying our learning.  I love seeing our children make the connections between what we have studied and items in the news or in documentaries we watch or novels we read.  They are developing a good understanding of cause and effect and are adding pieces to their mental “big picture.”

What about “socialization”?

 
Let’s begin with definitions of the term.  Here are some from dictionary.com:

socialization-  1.  a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity

                             and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to  

                             his or her social position

2.      the adoption of the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture; “the

                              socialization of children to the norms of their culture”

socialize-  1.  to make fit for companionship with others; make sociable

2.      to convert or adapt to the needs of society

To be truthful about it, some of these definitions make me very uneasy.  The idea that my children should “acquire personal identity” or “adopt the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture” sets my teeth on edge.  We certainly hope that neither happens.  Paul tells us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”  (Romans 12:2)  To me, that means the “norms, values, behavior” etc. of our culture should NOT be the standards to which we aspire.

While these definitions are worth careful consideration, I don’t think that they quite get at the heart of what detractors of homeschooling mean when they say that children outside of the mainstream classroom won’t be “well socialized.”  I believe that their concern is that homeschooled children will lack the ability to interact “normally” with their peers and adults.  They somehow think that not being in an overcrowded classroom means that they won’t get out of the house or interact with others.  The detractors imagine that homeschooled children will be unable to carry on conversations, make eye contact, and read nonverbal cues.  My personal experience has been much the opposite.

I cannot say that I have never encountered a homeschooled child who is painfully shy, lacks manners, or has trouble making friends.  But I can personally say that I have found the rate of those problems to be lower among homeschoolers than in the general population. 

In my years in public and private schools, I saw a lot of things.  I had all kinds of personality types in my classroom.  And I saw a good bit of what I would consider “poor social skills,” so being one of many in a classroom isn’t a panacea.

We are members of a county-wide homeschool group that gets together for field trips, cook-outs, art programs, spelling bee type events, and so on.  We also participate in a once-a-week enrichment and tutorial group (I teach two classes while our children take a wide range of wonderful courses- more on that later).  Contrary to what many worry about, the homeschooled children I have come in contact with handle these social situations quite well.  In fact, their manners and interpersonal skills almost always exceed the average children I encounter in public. 

I suppose that opponents assume that homeschooled children are rarely around their peers if their academic work is done at home.  I can’t really think of many homeschoolers of which this is true.  At the very least, they are at church in Sunday school, Awana, and similar programs at least once a week.  They also have regular get-togethers with other homeschoolers at the park, on bike trails, or at playgrounds.  Quite a few are involved in some recreation league sport like soccer.  Many take lessons in horseback riding, musical instruments, or dance.  And let’s not forget things like 4-H and Boy/Girl Scouts.  I know I feel like we spend a lot of time involved in activities that require me to pack everyone up and drive for 30 minutes.  There is no shortage of opportunities for children these days.  The greater challenge seems to be limiting activities to a reasonable number.

So, what makes a child “well socialized”?  And if it is constantly being in a very large group that makes a child “normal,” then why are there any children in our schools with problems?

The Work of Young Children is Play

Left to their own devices, children come up with very creative and educational ways to play. (I should stop here and say that I mean children that are encouraged to get off the couch, turn off the TV and game systems, and use their imaginations. We’ve all heard studies about the shocking rate of obesity in children and the dangers their sedentary lifestyles may lead to in adulthood. I’m talking about the children that still play the way we did).

On a rainy day, they can look at a set of dining room chairs and a blanket and suddenly they are pioneer kids from the Little House book series. They see a fallen branch in the back yard and become pole vaulters or jousting knights or javelin throwers. A box of costumes can keep them busy for hours. And this “play” isn’t just a frivolous way to pass time. They are learning and solving problems and loving every minute of the education.

Our nation’s schools focus on concrete and measurable work. They have to do that to prepare kids for standardized tests and to create grade reports. Test-taking and documenting progress are necessary to prove proficiency and prepare kids for higher learning, but we don’t feel time allocated to those goals leave enough room in the average public (and private) school day for other important things. Children really need time to invent their own games and play creatively if we want to foster their creativity. Certainly time must be spent teaching them to read and write and add on a regular basis, but we must not overlook the importance of play (for young children especially).

The school day is typically from about 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Those hours break down roughly this way: 1 hour for lunch and recess; about an hour altogether of lining up, going to the bathroom/getting drinks, walking from place to place, etc.; 30-45 minutes of an art, music, or physical education type class; and the rest of the time is mostly spent sitting (quietly, if the teacher is lucky) at a desk for passive instruction or independent seatwork. There aren’t many opportunities for collaborative work- discussion and exploration. Once the children get home from school, most will have homework that may take up to 2 hours. Dinner comes along, then baths, and bed. Most children won’t engage in much creative play on a typical day.

Homeschooling meets our children’s needs in a lot of ways. One of the benefits we see is the increased time they get to spend in informal learning and exercise (play). Since I work one-on-one with each child, I know how each is progressing and can tailor our formal school time accordingly. If Benjamin knows all the vocabulary words from the story already (which I can assess quickly), I probably won’t make him look them all up and write the definitions. That wouldn’t be the case if he were one of my 25 students. Skipping that task just freed up half an hour. With two students, we don’t line up and wait for everyone to go to the bathroom- more “found time.” And so on. Benjamin and Rachel get far more creative play time this way.

As I mentioned before, there is a lot of value to the ways they play also. We don’t have any video game systems and we restrict television (the kids “earn” their carefully selected TV shows by working for tokens they use to “buy” them). What we do have are several large storage totes of toy instruments, puppets, costumes, Legos, chess sets, and other similar toys and games. Benjamin and Rachel put on puppet shows of their own creation. They pretend they are gladiators, astronauts, vets, and so on. They build castles (Rachel’s have princesses in them while Benjamin’s have dueling knights ), play with clay, make marching bands, and do origami. We enjoy watching them almost as much as they like playing.

Besides the “free play,” I try to provide plenty of exploration time with materials we use for lessons. In the school classroom setting, the time is broken into small increments that are allocated to particular subjects. Science (when it’s taught) may only be from 1-1:45. During that time, if the teacher is going to attempt an experiment, she must work quickly. She needs to introduce the lesson, give background information, and then instructions. The students probably will need to be put into groups and then take turns using the materials since most likely there won’t be a set for every child. Each child’s turn will be only a couple minutes at most. Enough time to spark their interest but probably (hopefully!) not satisfy their curiosity. Our kids frequently “play” for hours recreating and extending the lessons after “school” is over. We think that’s great.

(We took our home-made marble tracks outside so we could have more room. We should have anticipated that the chickens would want in on the lesson, too. We kept having to chase them to get our marbles back- that’s why the end of this section of track is now in Benjamin’s lap.  I believe Benjamin is saying, “Go away, chicken!”).

The kids tried out different designs of marble tracks to study gravity and momentum. Although they had a great time doing it, they learned a lot- gravity pulls things down toward the ground (not uphill); if you put a hill in the middle of the track, the marble may not have enough momentum to make it over the top; the heaviest marbles go the fastest and travel the farthest off the end; centrifugal force will keep a marble on the track around a curve if the track is tipped sideways. They made configurations with loops in them and were able to get the marbles to go all the way around without falling out. They found out that the higher the top of the track is, the faster the marbles are going when they reach the end. They also invented a motor skills game where each held an end of the open track. They lifted or lowered their side to allow the marble to roll back and forth, but tried not to let the marble touch their hands. I only occasionally prompted their thinking or discoveries. They were naturally curious and constructed almost all of their own learning.

(Here is the game they came up with- the object was to get the marble as close to your hand as possible without actually touching it. The game was easier or harder depending on how much slope was in the track).

It doesn’t take a lot of fancy equipment or expensive toys to entertain kids. I got a few foam pipe insulators (the kind you may put on pipes coming out of the water heater) in the plumbing department for about $1.25 each. I cut one in half and left the others whole. The kids used different kinds of marbles (light plastic, medium glass, and heavy steel) to test out their track configurations.

This past Friday, we had a number of places to go- the orthotist to get Lyddie’s helmet refitted, Grams and BePops for lunch (and to deliver corn for the birds and squirrels), gymnastics, Tae Kwon Do, and finally soccer practice (these work as Physical Education credits for us). Among those other things, we were trying to fit in our academic work. There was no one else waiting in the outer office at the orthotist’s when we arrived. I wanted to take advantage of the wait to cover some school, so I picked up reading On the Banks of Plum Creek (in the Little House on the Prairie Series) where we had ended the previous day.

A few pages into the chapter about the decimation of every green thing by a swarm of grasshoppers, two older ladies came in and sat down. I wondered if I should stop reading so that we didn’t bother them. I decided to keep an eye out to see if they were annoyed and just kept going for a bit. They had a couple sentences of hushed conversation, then were quiet. A minute later, one asked the other something, but she didn’t get an answer. She repeated it. I heard the second lady say, “I’m trying to listen.” I kept reading.

A few more minutes passed and a couple came in. They too had a few words of conversation and then fell silent. I periodically stopped to explain a word to the children. An excerpt from Exodus chapter 10 about the plague of locusts God sent on Egypt was in the story. In the back of my mind, I was thinking that I wouldn’t be allowed to read or teach this in public school probably.

About two pages from the end of a chapter, the receptionist came around the desk and called us to come back. One of the two older ladies said, “Oh no! Now I won’t know how it ends! I wish someone would still read to me!” Everyone in the waiting area chuckled and the receptionist made a comment about how she had been enjoying it, too. I could hear the conversations about the story line and their own memories of being read to. It went on for a couple minutes as we gathered up our things and went across the hall to our exam room. That just really tickled me pink. I hope our kids still have such fond memories of reading together when they are grown.